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The Frisky -- First thing one morning I got a text from one of my friends, the kind I get all too often: "Met my future husband last night! If I've learned one valuable thing from the dating whirligig I've been on for the last six years give or take six months here or there , it's that you must wait at least three months before getting excited about the long-term possibilities of a new person.
The Frisky: 30 things every woman should quit doing by I don't want to sound cynical or jaded. I totally believe in love for myself and my friends, but what I believe in more is that it takes a really long time to get to know someone and it's a complicated process. Whirlwind romances were all the rage for me in , but I'm older and wiser now The first three months of knowing someone is a time of illusions.
Instead of seeing the person objectively, you see them for who you want them to be. Your object of desire is laden with fantasies and projections. I think it takes about three months to strip away the layers and start to see this person for who they really are. I can't even count the number of times that I or a friend started dating someone and days or even weeks later found out there was something seriously messed up about him.
The more and less obvious discoveries about another are made in that three-month period. That's stuff you need to know before you move forward. Also, I think three months gives you enough time to see if the new person in your life is consistent. Do they call when they say they're going to?
Do they cancel dates? Do they even have time for dates? Do they want to hang out once a week or six times a week and does that mesh with what you want? How do they treat you after a month? What excites me? Am I learning about my sexuality? What is this person bringing into my life that is valuable?
Does this person improve my life? Am I happy with them? Is this relationship giving me joy? Will it continue to give me joy? Tinder Pick-Up Lines. Tinder Bios. Dating Tips. First Dates. Swipe Sessions. Tinder Inclusivity. Critiquing Tinder Advice. Dear Kadeejah. Tinder Travels. Tinder Users React. Taking Over My Tinder. All About Us.
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