Forced kissing or unwanted groping is sexual abuse. To double-check, start with the New York State Trooper website above, then look around at other definitions from other states. You may feel scared, alone, angry, sad, anxious, confused, helpless, hopeless, and embarrassed. You may feel some of these things sometimes, some of them all the time, all of them sometimes, or all of them all at once.
We get it — and we want you to know that all these reactions are common to victims of dating violence. We say this because we want you to know — we really really want you to know — that other people have been right where you are. And they made it through to the other side. Many of those people have also made it part of their lives to help people in your position. They want to help you, and the help they give is based on personal experience.
All that to reiterate what we said above: you are not alone, no matter how isolated you might feel right now. Your parents are the first, go-to option. However, if you have reasons not to tell your parents, your next best option is any adult in your life who has an official position of responsibility. Your school is a good place to start: if you have a teacher, a guidance counselor, a coach, or a principal you trust, talk to them about it.
If you decide to talk to someone but the idea of getting the authorities involved scares you off, call one of the anonymous crisis lines below. Write down each incident of violence or abuse that occurs, no matter how small. Include as many details as you can. Start by describing the incident itself, then include the location, date, time of the incident, and any witnesses.
Make a record of every red-flag incident that occurs, no matter how minor it may seem at the time. The more information you have, the better. The first link takes you to a document designed for stalking victims but can work perfectly to document dating violence, and the second takes you to a set of instructions designed specifically for people in abusive relationships.
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Sign In. Individual Login. Log In Create Account. You will be redirected to aap. Institutional Login. Log In OpenAthens. This is the touchback warning message modal. Expert advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Patient Education Handouts. Teen Dating Violence: Tips for Parents. Check to send yourself a copy. Enter each recipient's email address. At least one recipient is required. Optional Message up to characters. Please try again. All rights reserved. Parents need to know what's going on. Learn the myths and facts about dating violence. Teach your teenager that respect is the most important thing in a dating relationship.
Romantic and sexual feelings develop during the teen years. Teenagers are starting to date and experiment with different types of relationships. It is fun and exciting to meet someone new, and sad andwh difficult to break up.
As a parent, you can help your teenager make good decisions about dating. With guidance and support, teens can learn about healthy relationships and get the strength and courage needed to leave those that are not. Myths and facts. FACT : Abuse comes in many forms. Besides sexual violence, it also includes:. Yelling, swearing, put-downs, and threats. More than 1 in 10 teenagers experience physical violence in a dating relationship. FACT: Dating violence is not limited to families with a history of violence.
It happens to teens from families of all cultures, income levels, and educational backgrounds. Boys, as well as girls, can be victims of dating violence. It can occur at any time in a relationship—those just starting or ones that have been going on for a while.
Why teens are silent. There are many reasons why teens don't tell their parents or friends about the violence they are experiencing. They may:. Feel embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid of getting hurt. Feel certain that being in a relationship is the most important thing in their life. Be afraid of losing friends.
They may think friends would not believe this is happening, and they may feel alone after having lost touch with friends. Know the abuser will act nice some of the time, and they are happy when this happens. Feel hopeful that things will get better and convinced that they can help or change their partner. Warning signs of abuse. Some of the following may be just part of being a teenager.
But, when these changes happen suddenly or without explanation, there is cause for concern. Failing grades. Difficulty making decisions. Physical appearance. Bruises, scratches, or other injuries. Avoiding friends or changing peer groups. Giving up activities, interests, or family time that previously had been important. Some teenagers believe that having a baby will help make things better. Abusive behavior. It is important for you to recognize signs of an abusive relationship.
Wanting to get serious quickly and refusing to take NO for an answer. Acting jealous and possessive and wanting to pick partner's friends and activities. Being controlling and bossy and making all the decisions, not taking opinions of others seriously, and always checking up on partner.
Your child needs help in either case—victim or abuser.
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