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What, you can't sleep? You need someone around to bore you into a deep slumber? Predictable nice guys can have that NyQuil effect. Come on, sweet cheeks, you don't want that. Wanting a nice guy is the number one sign that you're settling, and not looking for the best you can get!
But if you agree with me on that, now you're really stuck. You don't want nice and you don't want bad. What to do? Here's how to zero in on a guy with just the right amount of Bad Boy-ishness. Date different types of guys from various walks of life: business types, creative, athletic, outdoorsy, etc.
Joking, sort of. Especially date outside of what you would consider your normal "type," and start to form an idea of what you like and don't like; keep a chart, if it helps. Ask yourself what qualities are most important to you. Is he polite? Is he funny? Is he edgy, responsible, a good kisser? If a guy makes you hot, definitely keep dating him, but don't get too emotionally involved right away.
Stand back and ask yourself, "What is making me want him so badly? Compare the men who make you hot with the men you consider nice guys. Be prepared to LOL. As a bonus, feel free to use the nice guys in your life to keep you occupied so that you're not too available for the "hottie" you really like.
Sounds mean, but it's not. Let me explain: You don't have to do a man's "homework" for him. He should be able to win your heart, and if he can't, then he's not worthy of you. Nice guys won't learn to be naughty by your being nice to them; you're doing them a favor! Finally, chances are that if he turns you on he's a "real guy. This "acceptance," if you will, will separate you from 90 percent of the female population.
Meaning, if he's a little rowdy sometimes, if he's got a hobby--a motorcycle, for example--or a sport he "just has to spend time on," then embrace it, but let him know you won't play second fiddle all the time. This way, you're not there as filler in between his "guy time" and work. You are part of his guy time.
Do I do the same things you advise with any guy? A: I don't believe you will never be attracted to a completely and totally "nice guy. But by understanding Bad Boys, the man who does heat you up will be easier to deal with. So, yes, keep in mind the strategies and concepts you read in this book, even if the man you choose doesn't seem all that bad. Most women want a good man with an edge, and that, my friend, comes in many packages.
The fact that you're reading this Manual means that you are actively seeking information that will make you better able to understand guys, and therefore have more fun with the kind of man who gets you hot. You're on your way! If you listen to the advice in The Manual, I promise you'll be able to handle the kitchen no matter how high the temperature. A Quiz Although you might still be denying it, there is no doubt that almost all women love some degree of Bad Boy.
Read more. Start reading The Manual on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Give the gift of Amazon for any occasion. Free shipping on all gift cards Shop now. Customer reviews. How are ratings calculated? Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzes reviews to verify trustworthiness. Top reviews Most recent Top reviews. Top reviews from the United States. There was a problem filtering reviews right now.
Please try again later. Verified Purchase. I don't think I would date someone with the mentality of the author. Wow, where do I even begin. This guy talks about how irresistible to women he is and then gives great advice for landing high quality men, which he considers himself to be. It is an entire book of a narcissist extolling his own virtues.
The kindle version cost me MORE than the paperback or the hardback would have. Shame on Amazon! Save your money. Here is his advice in a nutshell: Play hard to get and show some cleavage. Gee, thanks, Mr. I'll make sure to do that if I ever want to date a man such as you. If your a woman and still single or in an unfulfilled relationship, please read this manual at least twice.
And take notes! From my many decades of dating Bad Boys, every word Steve has written rings true. Trust me on this one. Thanks for great inner sanctum secrets and strategy insights. If only I knew as much then as I do now This guy is This book is difficult to finish.
This guy is bragging a lot and is a little more into himself than the ladies are. He doesn't really connect with the female audience but maybe i need to read further. The Manual, by Steve Santagati is a very shallow book with no substance or essence. I have read many self-help books and books on relationships, and even books on the biological differences between men and women. This book reminded me of someone who didn't have any sincerity or genuineness. Everything in this book is actually common knowledge shared by everyone, like when he says you shouldn't sleep on the first date with a man.
It is hard to explain, but I didn't like the his attempt at being humorous at inappropriate times. The author reminds me of someone who takes but never gives, and by referring to himself as a "bad boy" has no strength of character or integrity that would make me pursue him. The author seems to feel that women find "bad boys" more desirable and I took his little quiz and it actually determined I prefer nice guys. I bought this book, as well as, some others for my younger, single girlfriends.
I myself am 54 years old and have been married for 26 years, to a nice guy. I never liked "bad boys" which is another word for men that are always searching for their next girl in the sack, and have no love in their heart for anyone but themselves.
I would not waste my money on this book. This book is a quick read that provided some insight into the world of men, but it didn't go far enough. I was left asking "why" after reading the author's explanation for why bad boys act the way they do. While I realize the quick chapters and simple layout make it easy to read and keeps things moving along, I would have liked more perspective on the "good" male mind instead of just the bad boy. The book would lead you to believe the guys we want don't think much at all.
Hopefully not all guys we want are like that! If that's how the bad boys are, then I'm fine with the "good" ones. The author makes it sound like he's an expert on women and how they can get men. I'm not quite convinced he is the best one to write this book.
Maybe if I met him in person? Tell him to give me a call and then I'll write a review! For the record most of the Manual is pretty fun to read, and actually gives some pointers that a lot of women could use. Strangely daft women who are desperate and find men to be such a tricky elusive species maybe, but some women nonetheless.
Santagati is of course a rarity.. So maybe he can call the shots with his lady The push up bra, the high heel, the tight skirt. Come on Steve, we're not all wired like that And some of us don't want men to respond to us in THAT way Yea, them. The breadwinners. So, we'll pinch our toes and IPEX if and when we want to thank you very much But this is not news. Men are visual and they like to imagine you naked.
My favorite line from the book is the one about cooking him dinner All in all, no harm done, but it does have the air of a kinda pushy bossman feel about it. I was left wondering What have you done for ME lately? First - this book is a very easy read - short chapters, daily language, not rocket science.
Some of the reviewers are offended by his advice, but honestly? And we didn't dress provacatively either. I shared it with one friend and have 2 more on the wait list. If you've seen Steve on Oprah, or the Today show, this book is totally reflective of who he is on those shows - "a typical guy" as he calls himself - so what you see is what you get - pure Steve - in his writing.
See all reviews. Top reviews from other countries. OK, so I am giving 3 stars as the book actually contains some very useful information don't jump to conclusions here, read further on even though the title is misleading. From this perspective, unlike some reviewers I don't believe the book is all that bad - it does contain an invaluable insight into the mind of a genuinely bad guy who explains the workings of such a bad guy's mind and I think that the author does so really well.
I have personally been unfortunate enough to come across this type of men and how I wish I'd known what I do now after reading this book. Yes, some of the info in this book is brutally honest and not pleasant to read at all - as I think for the author the coming out on top actually means "managing to be sexy and pleasing to the bad guys so they actually pay attention to you". As in he already knows what time he wants to spend with you and how.
Yeah, for bad guys that's what they might think like, the other men hopefully realize that women are real human beings who are not to be classified according to how the bad guy may wish to use them. Again, as a woman why on earth would I want to spend any time with anyone who regards human beings in this manner?
The author also claims that he truly loves women and clearly wants to distinguish himself from the "users and abusers" but then he goes on to mention how he was at one moment dating 17! It seems that the book is full of such logical fallacies. All in all, if you want your teenage daughter to be well equipped to knowing bad guys and their tricks so that she doesn't fall prey to them then this is an excellent book to read.
Kudos to the author the book is funny and kind of well written, it does not drag on or anything and thus any young woman might actually enjoy reading and learning. For any "older" woman out there who has already had to deal with some bad guys this is an invaluable book too - they can stop blaming themselves for the past and see the bad guys for the pitiful and egoistic creatures with very little in the higher values department to speak of that they are.
I am not stating the author has no respect or is shallow - but the type of a guy who is described in the book unfortunately is. What a load of croc. Basically this man has written this book expressing the type of woman he needs to keep him on his toes as he believes he is Gods gift. Don't waste your money.
Report abuse. Brilliant book. Painfully honest though and may cause offence for some but i do believe this is really how men think! I read this alongside Matthew husseys ' get the guy ' and would really recommend! I would recommend it for all of This book is a good fun.
I would recommend it for all of the teenager girls facing with boys. I don't agree to call the self-confident boys constantly "bad-boys" but hey-ho, that's the style of Steve Santagati. Easy laugh with a cuppa! Good book very informative indeed. What other items do customers buy after viewing this item? Pages with related products. See and discover other items: chapter book dolphin. Back to top. Get to Know Us.
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Learn more For the hopelessly single, finding the ideal mate seems like a daunting, impossible task. However, the truth about finding an ideal mate is actually very simple — it's simply that many people just don't know where to look or how to begin. If you're keen to get out of singledom and into a loving relationship, this article's geared at helping you work out how to get started on your search.
Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Figure out your own mind first. The first step to finding your ideal mate is a paper and a pen. No, you're not going to write a personal ad. What you are going to do is list your traits and the traits you desire in a mate.
Included in this list should be: your personality traits and those of a desired mate, your physical traits, and the desired physical traits your mate will have, as well as interests and hobbies , religion and beliefs both yours and if your mate must be the same religion or hold a similar belief system or lack thereof , desire for children and your willingness to accept another's children, your communication style, etc.
You may want to draw on the help of your friends for the personality portion, as well as your past relationships. If you take a look over this, it'll be easier for you to recognize what personality types you got along with the best. Turn the list into a profile of what kind of mate you're looking for. This is a skeleton of a person.
It should not be a list of demands, but rather a basic outline of the soul you're looking for. The list needs to be realistic and prioritized. By looking at the profile, you will see what aspects are important to you that you may not have realized before. For example, suppose you like being outdoors , and exercising, then look for a hiking group - perhaps at a religious group, community group, or a local outdoors club like the Sierra Club.
Be aware of what other people tend to look for in a mate. Since there are numerous studies on what men and women look for in a mate, make use of them so that you can understand what others are looking for. This can allow you to emphasize your strengths in whichever area, to signal clearly that you've got the interesting traits, beliefs , or do the activities that your potential mate is looking for. Some of the most popular things men and women look for in one another are: Women are looking for in order : Personality, sense of humor, common interests, intelligence, cleanliness, looks, sexiness, getting to know the man through a friend, voice, spirituality, profession, money, talent, and finally, religion.
Love yourself and your body. This is hot tip of the century; your ideal mate is going to be the person that loves you as you are and sees that you do too. If you cannot come to terms with this reality, then some confidence-building is in order and the mentality of wanting to fall in line with whatever your date says has to go out the window.
Things to bear in mind to help you on your quest for the ideal mate include: You're worth it. Yes, you really are. And prove it by walking tall, with your head held high, smiling and feeling confident. That's attractive and it's going to let potential mates see that you're approachable as well as self-confident.
Start looking. Find social groups and events where your mate might spend time, and where there are likely to be plenty of conversations with each of the people involved. It's very important that you put yourself where you're likely to find your ideal mate instead of hoping that that person is the next one to sit down on the bar stool beside yours. The best places to look for your ideal mate are at places where you enjoy spending time, as it's likely that this first shared interest will get things started.
Places to spend time looking for your ideal mate include: Singles groups. These could be groups in local churches, dating services, or online. They're the most obvious source because everyone has outwardly declared that they're searching for someone, and while they have their pitfalls, the good thing is that everyone is there for the same purpose.
You may find that your perfect mate on the hiking trip is married, or that there are no potential spouses in the auto detailing club, whereas singles groups are guaranteed singleness at least! Don't be too picky up front. You're not configuring a laptop --you and your future mate are both looking for or at least open to someone to get to know and make happy. Get to know lots of people in various contexts casually, with a view to a few core attributes and broadly compatible personalities.
If you persistently demand a precise combination of attributes up front, you'll probably fail to find it, maybe even drive off someone you would like with your fussiness, and finally, jaded, settle for a relationship not off to a good start for either of you and perhaps awkwardly late for a family. Make a good first impression. Dress and present yourself well when you start flirting and dating. People do make judgments based on initial appearances and it might be the only chance you get to make a difference.
Good grooming, pleasant manners, and making the most of yourself are important aspects of maintaining your attractiveness. Use that sense of humor. Both men and women cite this trait as very important and there's good reason for it. Humor is what helps to reduce the whole awkwardness of dating and it also lets both of you know that you're humble and not full of yourself. More to the point, a person with a sense of humor is definitely the preferable choice for a lifelong commitment over a grouch!
Don't rush things and give the relationship plenty of time to unfold. When you find someone who seems to fit the profile, take a deep breath and go slowly! Spend a lot of time talking, listening, and seeing different aspects of this person you care about. Of course, you want there to be attraction, but you want to get to know this person as well.
And you want to see how you interact in a range of situations, such as at leisure, during stressful periods, being around family, and in professional situations. Put off intimacy for a while - depending on your religious beliefs and age, this may not be a choice but even if not, delaying intimacy can help reassure you that you're with your ideal mate, rather than experiencing an infatuation. The excitement and attraction in new relationships can override getting to know each other if you give into it too soon.
Affection can feel a lot like love initially, so make sure of your heart and mind before you indulge in intimacy. Make sure you tell someone that you're looking for a long-term relationship from the onset.