You bet your goddamn biscuits I do. However, as a member of the below-average-height population average female height in the U. Being tall literally pays, according to the American Psychology Association , to the tune of nearly 1, additional dollars a year, especially when coupled with being fit read: thin. Imagine going through life towering over everyone else, never having to hem jeans—just wearing them straight off the rack without them awkwardly bunching up at the ankles.
Imagine never having to crane your neck in a crowd to see a concert. Imagine always having the contents of every top shelf at your disposal. That reach! That stride! The power! Now imagine being so small and dating someone with all that their entire lives—what do they know of struggling? Of unrelenting, tireless self-advocacy? But would I possess the same tenacity and strong-willed drive born of having to quite literally step up for myself all the time?
Perhaps, perhaps not. But good behavior it is not. Some of us are attracted to the sense of humor and self-awareness that comes from surfing the outskirts of conventionally alpha orbits and their bullshit, toxic hierarchy. Some of us want to look a man level in the eyes as he spouts whatever woo-some sentiments he has to offer.
Some of us are not impressed by all that height-given privilege and certainly do not give a shit about a predisposition for dunking. All those inches—in this economy? Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today.
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On dating apps, height attracts a certain kind of male attention. To be fair, that last one really made me laugh. Height has been quite universally idealised, especially in men for all time; equated to masculinity, perhaps even virility in some form, or so we are socialised to believe. No matter how much we seem to progress, the idea that girls are pink, sweet and petite, and boys are blue, big and strong appears to be stubbornly etched on the bedpost. We agree that in same-sex dating, the only negative that height sometimes brings is logistics.
Like many other tall women, I have internalised what romantic interests have reflected back at me about my height. And when I have dated people slightly shorter than me, it has always cropped up later down the line with a sense of emasculation that I end up feeling responsible for. Perhaps this is why the taller women like me all state their height on their dating apps. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later?
Start your Independent Premium subscription today. I'm glad you brought this up, because that is the dilemma I am faced with but sort of an opposite argument. I am a strong advocate for the empowerment of women. I am strong, I am a leader, and I have a commanding presence both professionally and socially.
I don't get to be the damsel or soft spoken angelic doll. I always say when I start thinking things like this it's just "monkey brain" thoughts ideas that are antiquated and more animalistic , but that doesn't stop the thoughts from crossing my mind. I know that I'm less likely to be disrespected, patronized, or in the worst cases victimized, and I greatly appreciate these benefits.
Of course I like that I can hold my own against the average man and woman. But monkey brain wants a caveman who can throw me over his shoulder and carry me to bed. Does that make sense? I get this. But remember that feminism is not just being an alpha female. It's the freedom to be exactly who you want to be. Try this link maybe this can help btw look at the second one.
There are a lot of people who love tall people. You might want to angle your though process to sports and a football or hockey player. Or check out these sites. Sure, being tall gives you an advantage in regards to strength and physicality, but I don't think anyone expects you to be a certain way cause you're tall. I'm kind of upset that you are genuinely dismissing another woman's feelings and opinions of what she wants just because of your own.
Female empowerment is promoted enough, it's where it needs to be. The social movement, in my opinion, should be over. Socially, it's literally taken over everything from schools to laws to pop culture. We can keep pushing now because everything isn't where we want it, but I think that will actually be negative, as we just need to wait for these current effects to take place with the next generation say years.
I was always told that as a man my opinion was wrong. Literally everyone I was around enforced that. I always have to be careful how I act and what I say around women. A rumor started that I had raped a close friend of mind and I was terrified of the repricussions, the anxiety it caused me made me physically sick and I ended up losing nearly 20 pounds, vomiting and not being able to eat or sleep much.
I literally hadn't even seen the girl in months, and nothing ever came from it she denied it and said she would never start shit like that, but it still was an awful experience. In my life women are treated better in school, have more power over their family, have so much support that they don't even need evidence for accusations any more and are even praised for using and being abusive towards men.
I have mostly female friends and it is just common for them to shit talk guys and support each other in that simply because they're men and inferior. I know that this isn't occurring everywhere, but neither is patriarchy. I'm open to discussion if anyone who has read this far wants to talk, either in a reply or a pm. Much love to you all, whether you agree or disagree, I'd like to hear. Be the dainty woman you want to be. Dont let anyone make you feel any less for your height. I think you should make it clear to the next guy you date that you wont wear flats or slouch to make them feel more manly.
Dont hold back on your strength either. You just want to be treated like a little princess. And little princesses come in all sizes. I think you will gain confidence once you find a man who is confident about his masculinity and wont have to be constantly reaffirming it.
Embrace it. Wear high heels. Love yourself and your height, confidence will change how others see you. But most importantly, do it for yourself. Ugh I feel this. I'm 5'10", and unless I'm in the flattest shoes ever I constantly feel like I'm towering over everyone. I can't wear cute shoes even though I love heels. When I do I get weird looks, maybe because I've always been skinny too, so I look like this hulking skeletor? Even shoes with 1" heels make me feel giant.
Clothes never fit. Only like three stores make tall sizes for women, and you can only buy things online. I've never been into a store that actually carries a size 2 tall. Trying to find a physical store with clothes that fit me is like trying to find Narnia. When I was on Bumble I would always ask how tall the guys are and I felt like they were instantly annoyed. But seriously, is it that bad to just want to feel like a pretty, feminine girl?
I would kill to be 5'5". Just normal for once. I feel like being skinny and tall works in your advantage. Honestly all models are built skinny and tall. Be proud of you. I model and a bunch of the girls from my agency felt like that before they started modeling too. I am 5'9 and I relate, being skinny and loving heels and all that. I felt like giant wearing even a slight heel, so my shoe collection was about two pairs. But now I don't give a fuck.
I do what I like. I am tall, so adding few inches hardly matters after a certain point. I used to hate being tall, but now its one of my favourite things about me because it sets me apart from rest of the women. Gaining weight and getting older def helped.
Sure, not a lot of men are into tall women, but that's okay! I am a guy with Cerebral Palsy. I am articulate and have a slight limp. I have been greeted with slurs as an introduction. I have a childish voice. I can type better than I say it in words. Sort of getting there! I hope. Can we trade heights? I can still bridal carry my boyfriend but I wish I was taller than him.
I'm a 6'3" woman and my husband loves it. He's about 5'9", but treats me like I'm made of glass. I'm right with you in that boat, I never wanted to date a shorter man because I don't want to be a fetish. I can't really describe our relationship to the letter, but I can say that he doesn't treat my height like I'm a towering goddess, but that he is the protector and treats me like I'm HIS goddess.
He recently started wearing huge sweaters and "doesn't mind" when I steal them for bed. I have a suspicion he bought them for me. He loves it when I wear high heels and things that show off my tallness. I hit the jackpot with him. I can really relate to this. I'm average height 5'6" but I grew really fast and for much of my life have been overweight.
A lot of my friends were petite 4'11" and probably 95 lbs and I constantly compared myself to them. I hated feeling so "big" and I just wanted to be cute and tiny like they were. I didn't feel feminine and guys didn't treat me like I was even a girl. Even now after losing weight, I constantly compare the thickness of my thighs or arms to my boyfriend, who is quite lean. And when I notice that my thighs are thicker, or that I'm too heavy for him to manhandle or pick up, it really bums me out and makes me feel like less of a woman.
It sucks! I just want to feel feminine and little. I am "girly" and tender by nature but for a lot of my life I tried to act tough, or like "one of the guys" because I didn't feel small and feminine enough to be my true self.
I understand how you feel. I have not perused some potentially great relationships before because of my height and how it made me feel in comparison to the other person. This entire thread made me so sad. I taught an art class this week and the kids were verbally ripping their drawings apart the ENTIRE class, so at the end I made them go around the room and tell other students what they liked about their drawings.
You should all try that once in a while. Yesterday I saw an 18 year old girl at the Nike Store. She was easily 6'6. Her thin body made her look even taller. In a relationship I too want to be treated fairly feminine and not like a huge majestic amazonian goddess although i respect who does.
I hope we both find somebody who is right for us eventually. There are places with lots of tall people though. My girlfriend is 6' and while she tends to be the tallest woman in any group of people, there is always some taller guy nearby. Some people still comment on her height but I do see taller girls than her at least once a day.
Contrary to popular belief I don't think the majority of tall guys are into short women. They just make even average height girls look tiny next to them. Plus if you play a "tall people sport" it seems pretty common for the tall people to couple up, lol. Personally I don't want to date anyone shorter than me. I'm 5'11 and if my kids are ever going to be worth a damn in sports they need at least one parent to be rocking the height genes.
There's guys with the same issues that are really tall, but just want to be feminine, and not treated as if there masculine puppets, who essentially are just, dildos that can talk. Just be yourself. I'll say as a man that is attracted to the very thing you hate yourself for, just be yourself. You don't have to be anything you don't wanna be. Nor do I have to. Yes, with an assertive side But I don't find that emasculating. Just like you shouldn't feel like that about yourself.
No matter a guys height, or physique, feeling like a man, should never ultimately be their womans job. Yes, there are ways a woman makes her guy feel like a man. But if a guy is constantly striving for that feeling, then they're likely trying to compensate for something mentally, or physically.
I used to have a lot of issues with my height, and how emasculated it made me feel. Even if I was dating someone shorter than me, that feeling never left. Don't remember how or when, but eventually I matured, and my height isn't something I really concern myself with. Women where I live are generally closer to my height or over, and most of them have no interest with someone of my height so I just move on. On a lighter note though I think it's kind of hilarious that shorter people can never find the right single taller person, and tall people can never find the right single taller people.
The world is a big place, you'll find someone. I'm a 6'4 guy who dates all shapes and colors of women, and nothing gets me more excited not in a sexual way necessarily than a lady that is around 6 feet or so. Like I feel compelled that I need to approach you while being polite of course haha. We all don't prefer short girls, I've dated from 5'0 to 6'0 personally and the 5 footers made it feel very awkward to hold hands in public or have to bend down halfway to the ground to share a kiss lol.
I hope it works out for you dude! I think dating is a shit-show in general nowadays, so it's hard enough but I know that I'm still out here looking for a 6 foot plus partner in crime myself and it's hard as hell to find y'all so I'm just trying to stay patient and not get too caught up in it. Hi, 6'3M here. I prefer women that are taller than me. Ironically, I developed that preference when I was still 5'9. Rip me. But hey, just know that you're a gem in the rough for many of us. I'd love to date a girl as tall as you, and I really don't mind if my girlfriend is stronger than me, as it's quite common for me, being only lbs.
I also don't mind being dominant either. I still get protective even though I have no idea how to fight. I have to compensate for that a bit. I wish it was more accepted for guys not to have super fragile masculinities. I've actually been made fun of for letting my girlfriend fireman carry me for fun. Just because my body type is a bit unusual doesn't invalidate my gender, folks.
My mom was 5'11, age has her shrinking some. My dad was 6'0, 3 of my 4 grandparents were tall, and my brother is 6'4, his wife 6'0, her twin brothr 6'7, her children slated off the growth charts. I'm 5'4 and I can tell you when I see these women, I think only of how beautiful and feminine they are. Because I was raised and surrounded by tall people, tall women ARE feminine to me.
And I'm the weird one. My adopted sister is 4' She is fierce and seems larger than she is because of this. My point is, own it, OP. Own your tallness the way my niece thrills in ballet. She was the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and I hope you know that you can be somebody else's beautiful person, too.
I think because of our size we feel social pressure to be dominant. I was quite tall as a kid and everyone kept telling me I was going to be an Amazon, which I thought sounded awesome.
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