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For the rest of the dominant adjectives, the two big winners were confident 72 percent sought this trait for an ideal date; 74 percent sought this trait for an ideal romantic partner and assertive 48 percent sought this trait for an ideal date; 36 percent sought this trait for an ideal romantic partner. Not one woman wanted a demanding male, and only 12 percent wanted an aggressive person for a date and romantic partner. In terms of the nondominant adjectives, the big winners were easygoing 68 percent sought this trait for an ideal date; 64 percent sought this trait for an ideal romantic partner and sensitive 76 percent sought this trait for an ideal date and ideal romantic partner.
Not one woman wanted a submissive male for either a date or romance. Other low-ranked nondominant adjectives were shy 2 percent for dating; zero for romantic and quiet 4 percent for ideal; 2 for romantic. This analysis was revealing because it suggests that dominance can take many forms. The dominant male who is demanding, violent, and self-centered is not considered attractive to most women, whereas the dominant male who is assertive and confident is considered attractive.
Their results also suggest that sensitivity and assertiveness are not opposites. In fact, further research suggests that the combination of kindness and assertiveness might just be the most attractive pairing. In other words, dominance only increased sexual attraction when the person was already high in agreeableness and altruism. Along similar lines, Jeffrey Snyder and colleagues reported that dominance was only attractive to females for both a short-term affair and a long-term relationship in the context of male-male competitions.
Tellingly, women did not find men attractive who used aggressive dominance force or threat of force while competing for leadership in informal decision making among peers. This suggests that women are attuned to cues that indicate that the male might direct his aggression toward her, with dominance toward competitors considered more attractive than dominance toward friends or coalition members.
Distinguishing between the different shades of dominance, and how they interact with kindness, is not just important for understanding sexual attraction among humans. It also has deep implications for the evolution of social status. In our species, the attainment of social status, and the mating benefits that come along with it, can be accomplished through compassion and cooperation just as much if not more so as through aggression and intimidation.
Scholars across ethnography, ethology, sociology, and sociolinguistics believe that at least two routes to social status— dominance and prestige — arose in evolutionary history at different times and for different purposes. The dominance route is paved with intimidation, threats, and coercion, and is fueled by hubristic pride. Hubristic pride is associated with arrogance, conceit, anti-social behaviors, unstable relationships, low levels of conscientiousness and high levels of disagreeableness, neuroticism, narcissism, and poor mental health outcomes.
Hubristic pride, along with its associated feelings of superiority and arrogance, facilitates dominance by motivating behaviors such as aggression, hostility, and manipulation. In contrast, prestige is paved with the emotional rush of accomplishment, confidence, and success, and is fueled by authentic pride. Authentic pride is associated with pro-social and achievement-oriented behaviors, agreeableness, conscientiousness, satisfying interpersonal relationships, and positive mental health.
Critically, authentic pride is associated with genuine self-esteem considering yourself a person of value, not considering yourself superior to others. Authentic pride, along with its associated feelings of confidence and accomplishment, facilitates behaviors that are associated with attaining prestige. People who are confident, agreeable, hard-working, energetic, kind, empathic, nondogmatic, and high in genuine self-esteem inspire others and cause others to want to emulate them.
In this society, dominance as ranked by peers was positively related to physical size, whereas peer-ranked prestige was positively associated with hunting ability, generosity, and number of allies. Interestingly, while advocates for acting dominant often point to chimps as proof of the exclusivity of this route to male status, recent research has shown that even among primates , alpha male status can be achieved not only through size and strength but through adept sociability and the grooming of others as well.
You can be an alpha amongst one group, and a beta in another. In the context of a harsh, dangerous environment, the dominant male is valued because he can get what he wants, and provide resources to those who will submit to and follow him. But outside of pure barbarian society i. In one set of studies conducted on university-level varsity athletes, dominant individuals were found to have lower levels of genuine self-esteem, social acceptance, and agreeableness and higher levels of narcissism, aggression, agency, disagreeableness, and conscientiousness.
Dominant individuals were rated by their peers as higher in athleticism and leadership, but lower in altruism, cooperativeness, helpfulness, ethicality, and morality. In contrast, prestigious individuals had lower levels of aggression and neuroticism, and higher levels of genuine self-esteem, social acceptance, agreeableness, and even GPA.
Just like their dominant peers, prestigious individuals were rated as being better leaders and more athletic, but they were also considered more intellectual, socially skilled, altruistic, cooperative, helpful, ethical, and moral. These results clearly show that dominance and prestige represent very different ways of attaining and maintaining status. While dominance may be advantageous in a narrow set of circumstances, prestige is far more valued in nearly every context.
Due to their authentic pride, prestigious individuals are more likely to be respected, socially accepted, and thus successful. Who would you rather have on your team — Kevin Durant or Dennis Rodman? Amongst chimps, once a male has fought his way to the top, and becomes the alpha, his enjoyment of that status is short-lived; another dominant male will soon come along to challenge him and knock him off his throne.
On a cultural level, peoples like the Mongols or Vikings dominated others and were the alphas in their time, but were unable to adapt, and died off. Prestigious men — like the Founding Fathers — were able to create a legacy that continues on today. Taken together, the research suggests that the ideal man for a date or romantic partner is one who is assertive, confident, easygoing, and sensitive, without being aggressive, demanding, dominant, quiet, shy, or submissive.
In other words, a prestigious man , not a dominant man. In fact, it appears that the prestigious man who is high in both assertiveness and kindness is considered the most attractive to women for both short-term affairs and long-term relationships. This research should offer some assurance that the genuinely nice, passionate kid who learns a culturally valued skill can be immensely attractive. Further, seeking to become a prestigious man is not only the surest route to success with women, but achievement in any area of life.
This means developing a skill that brings value to society, and cultivating a stable sense of identity. Don't have a Kindle? Give the gift of Amazon for any occasion. Free shipping on all gift cards Shop now.
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He too seeks a woman who can challenge his senses in every way and every day. That is what he truly wants to achieve. An alpha male, from the bottom of his heart and with ever fiber in his body loves to compete. He loves to achieve every set goal, outdo them at times, and set standards. And with this mental gusto enters every relationship. So, the more impressed you are with his antics and actions, the more you please him. The more he gets pleased, the more prized a possession you remain for him.
This way you feed his ego and stimulate his intellectual. Finding a common ground, especially when you are in a relationship with an alpha male, is of utmost importance. Common grounds of connection such as outdoor activities, interests, hobbies, and the magic that conjures in your bedroom, are some of the important cards to gain an upper hand with this man.
This keeps him engaged, and it gives him a chance to compete with the one person he truly adores. While the two of you find something in common to connect over, it is important to let him maintain his fiction that he is leading you.
He is not generally a follower or a team player. These men are born to lead, and any deviation from this role, will only create a self-doubt for them. So, give him ideas, but in a way that they seem his own. Let him have the delusion by taking the credit. But remember, since the idea was yours to begin with, you will always know how to steer the exciting waters.
Coming back to our analogy of fairy tales, Cinderella left our dear Prince Charming a glass slipper, and this became the epic turning point of her life and what was to become of it. That air of mystery, desperation to deal with despair, and small clue that will lead him to ending the chase, will always keep him on his toes.
However, allow him doses of gratification, for too much of chase will leave him vexed at the situation. Every princess in the fairytale knew how to play her assets, she could calculate the next move of her alpha male, and she knew when to let go. If your boyfriend always keeps his word, you might be dating a real alpha male.
When it comes to dating an alpha male, doubt and shyness have no place in this relationship. When an alpha male tells something, he really means it. He is straightforward. Alpha males are mostly serious and thoughtful. They work out regularly to build and tone up their muscles. An alpha male strives to look athletic and learn how to protect himself and people he loves in a dangerous situation.
He will listen to you for a few minutes to understand what you want. Then, he will express his own opinions and your conversation is over. He will teach you to cope with problems without fights and dramas. If you are dating an alpha male, perhaps you are lucky. Love and respect yourself too. Are you looking for an alpha male? Beauty Health Love Career Travel.
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