He had been infected as a teenager and was used to managing outbreaks and mixed reactions from partners, which explains why he was so patient with me. The fact that he'd been honest about this pretty major thing before we'd even met was a testament to how trustworthy he was, and maybe because of that, I continued to pursue him. A week went by, and we continued to abstain from sex, although we were seeing each other almost daily at this point.
I decided to brush up on the facts of this STI. Turns out, there was a lot I didn't know. The outbreaks are merely expressions of an internal virus — the virus does not live on the skin itself. Not everyone has symptoms, but this doesn't mean you can't pass the virus to others. In fact, the majority of Americans have at least one form of the herpes virus, and you can get it from kissing, fucking, sharing a drink, or basically any form of close contact with a mucous membrane. After brushing up on my herpes facts, I felt incredibly vulnerable.
I asked myself: Would it be ridiculous to not be physically intimate with someone I have strong feelings for when I've most likely been exposed to the STI in the past and have a form of it myself? At that point, I had real feelings for him and didn't want to walk away.
I took immune-boosting supplements even though research on supplements to prevent herpes is inconclusive and made sure he was taking his herpes medication, which decreases chances of transmission as well as his frequency of outbreaks — and then we just kind of went about our sex lives without fretting too much. Condoms were key. We decided to be mostly monogamous, agreeing that when we were in the same city, we would only see each other. After the relationship ended for non-STI reasons , I wanted to get tested for HSV II, but my doctor said that because it takes so long to build up antibodies, results would be inconclusive.
I was better off waiting several months. I began to worry. Around two-thirds of people worldwide under age 50 have herpes simplex 1, according to the World Health Organization , and around one in every six Americans between ages 14 and 49 has genital herpes, usually caused by herpes simplex 2, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Both Davis and Carlson eventually moved past their initial panic and saw herpes for what it is: an infection many people have that happens to usually get passed through sexual contact.
In the past, Carlson would put the herpes conversation on the table quickly. On sites like Positive Singles and HMates , users are expected to be open about their diagnoses, but because they know everyone else there has an STD, too, it removes a huge barrier—and the question of whether the information will send a potential partner packing. Carlson, who got back into dating via this kind of site after her diagnosis, agrees. You can have great sex , find love, and also cut down on the chance of passing herpes along to your partner, Triplett says.
Just keep these few things in mind:. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. Dating with herpes means telling potential partners, which can be scary.
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Runner, winemaker, hockey fan, mini dachshund mama, weekend warrior, usually avid traveler, and a pretty damn good time if I do say so myself. No eye candy here; just soul food. Therefore I would like to find a person who likes to share his experiences with me, an accomplice.
Have had H for over 10 years and it doesnt affect me much physically or emotionally. I can understand other people's fears as I would have probably had that same attitude if it didnt happen to me,but I dont spend much time worrying about people's reactions. For detail, click here. The hardest part about getting diagnosed with an STD is the love you lose for yourself.
Suddenly, you feel worthless, dirty, and ashamed. You laugh with the jokes people say and inside your dying, but remember you use to be the one thinking someone having herp To begin my story I lost my virginity when I was a senior in high school so basically two years ago. When I first found out I had it I thought I was the only one that has it.
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