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They're minorities within a minority, shunned by most of the men in their own communities "who fall under two categories: losers who want their moms to find them a wife, or idiots who spend their time sleeping with white women before marrying someone from a village in the mother country," says Ayesha, the entrepreneur.
He ended up marrying his cousin from back home. Now, most of the decent Muslim guys I meet are either married or still in the closet. It's hopeless. Arranged marriages are archaic and offensive to these women. Matrimonial websites such as singlemuslim. I want someone I can connect with and then marry," says Noura, understandably. Dating is increasingly regarded as the one viable solution, but these women are amateurs.
Despite their successes in education and work, their love life isn't quite as developed. They're virgins, abstaining from the world of dating and boyfriends in their teenage years and early 20s, shunning "inappropriate relations" with men so as to avoid any scandal or gossip that would tarnish their reputation.
They've kept life halal. Unfortunately, finding compatible men to date is still an issue. Segregation is customary, particularly among Muslims of Asian heritage, limiting the amount of interaction between the two sexes. Lucky, then, that two entrepreneurs in the US are releasing their own Muslim-centric versions of Tinder. One imaginatively titled Minder, the other Salaam Swipe. Marrying men outside the faith is only considered permissible in most communities if the men convert.
Moreover, in line with national trends, Muslim women academically outperform the men. This means that professional Muslim women have an even smaller pool of intellectual and economic equals to choose from. This is exacerbated by the fact that Asian men are likely to choose partners of lower economic and intellectual status as they traditionally grow up with working fathers and stay-at-home mothers, and generally choose to replicate this model.
Unfortunately, these imbalances are not widely acknowledged — many label older unmarried women as fussy. The effect on women is crippling. Many become depressed as a huge amount of importance is attached to marriage, and unmarried women are made to feel that they've failed. Any real solution would require a complete cultural shift in mindset by parents, community leaders and imams. This will need geographically, socially and economically fractured communities to work together to achieve change — no easy feat.
Until they do so, many women who want to marry men of the same faith will continue to struggle. Cif belief Relationships. This article is more than 9 years old. Syma Mohammed. Older, unmarried female Muslims outnumber their male counterparts for many reasons.
Fussiness is not one of them. Marrying outside the faith is often only considered permissible if the men convert. Wed 18 Jan Both trends lead to a shortfall of available Muslim men. Reuse this content.
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