Occasionally, you have to cut them short and redirect their focus to what's important, or argue to make your point in a pivotal meeting. All in a day's work. Here's the key point to remember: when you're on a date with a guy, you're no longer at work. So if you unconsciously keep on doing those things that make you so effective at the office, you may end up alienating him - especially if he's also a CEO.
Strictly speaking, this does not set a man's heart aflame though it may give him heartburn. In her insightful book on why men don't call women back after a date , Rachel Greenwald lists this 'Boss Lady Syndrome' as the 1 reason men run, based on a survey of thousands of men.
Remember that guys admire and respect a woman who can take charge and kick ass. Guys respect and absolutely adore a woman who can take charge and kick ass but doesn't feel the need to prove it around him. According to Marianne Williamson's insight in A Woman's Worth , "In intimate relations with men, I want to major in feminine and minor in masculine.
If love and meaningful companionship aren't more important to you than a project, paper, or pet, then you can skip this part entirely. But if love really matters to you and you don't aspire to a monastic life, put in as much time and energy into dating and romance as you do into other things you excel at. Dating is not an afterthought for when you've taken care of everything else. As far as anyone can tell, deep, meaningful relationships are the most important part of life.
So let's not leave it to chance, shall we? If you like a guy, make him feel it. Give him at least as much time and energy as your spreadsheet, term paper, chihuahua or Facebook page. A smart guy knows exactly where he is on your priority list, and if it's too low, he will move on. Smart women can sometimes get really excited over a guy's resume, especially when he's gone to the right schools and held the right jobs.
Then they get stuck in a miserable marriage and wonder what went wrong when everything seemed so perfect. There's minimal correlation between a guy's resume and how good he can make you feel. Fulfillment is not a person; it's a feeling. If his company isn't fulfilling, you're probably with the wrong guy. All women are master overthinkers; smart women just have extra brainpower to burn on it. So they're experts at twisting themselves into knots of doubt, indecision and self-sabotage.
What does he really think about me? What does he think I think about him? And what do I think he thinks I think about him? Did you enjoy his company? Then see him again and see what happens. Otherwise, don't. Newsflash from the cosmos: masculine things gravitate towards feminine things.
So if you want more masculine things e. Men are suckers for your sensuality, the swing of your hips, the nape of your neck, the curve of your lips. They absolutely love it when you take pleasure in the physical world through touch, food and sex.
Men also love it when you're open to needing and receiving their help. They like to feel useful and wanted, even though they know full well that you can open doors and run companies on your own. Receptivity is a quintessential feminine quality, so if you want more good men in your life, be receptive to their offerings. Smart women are waiting for love to show up versus showing up as love. My friends often ask me at parties to summarize all pages of The Tao of Dating for Women in a sentence.
I do their ADD-addled brains one better by boiling it down to just three words: Be the light. If you're embodying joy, compassion and sensuality, telling him how great he is, making him feel like a billion bucks and the conqueror of worlds, you have no competition. But why do they need to? Kerri Sackville. Credit: Nic Walker. This, to me, is the key issue, and one I had not questioned until recently. It has always been a given: I want a man who is at least as intelligent as me.
But why is this so important? And why is it usually true for women, but not for men? We women are forging ahead, changing the paradigms in every area of life. We are in universities, in management, in politics, in boardrooms. We juggle motherhood with careers, buy our own properties, manage our own finances. But in hetero relationships, we are still largely bound by traditions.
We women still mainly seek men older than ourselves , taller than ourselves , broader than ourselves. We prefer men who are equally or more successful than us, and who earn at least as much money as we do. And we seek men who are as smart, or smarter, than we are. Back in , a hedge funder was asked why he dated less intelligent women.
His response:. It's about wanting someone who prioritises their life in a way that's compatible with how you prioritise yours. I love my job, but I work all the fing time. If I date an equally driven woman, we're both working 18 hours days, when do we even have time to see each other?
It makes sense, but I'd never considered it. I've been involved with men taller than me, shorter than me, older and younger, but every single one has been extremely intelligent. I assumed that I "needed" to be with a very smart man. I want to be challenged in a relationship on an intellectual level. But highly intelligent men can make for very difficult partners. They can be narcissistic, obsessive, rigid and demanding. They may have little time and energy for family and relationships.
If you're looking for a supportive and nurturing partner, a highly intelligent, successful man may not be the go. And co-ordinating that stuff is almost impossible. Why don't they just date some beta male who works in a bookstore and will make dinner for them every night? Doesn't every successful person — man or woman — see how that's easier? Of course, it's easier, but we don't do it. And why not? We think we've escaped from it, but we aren't quite there.
We fight the idea of man as head of the household, insisting on shared parenting and shared housework and equal rights, but we can't let that last vestige go.
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Another way you can maintain an open and strong body stance is by moving slowly and deliberately, as if through water. A past mentor of mine taught me this back when I was first getting started coaching different types of men, helping them find their own version of success in the dating scene. It has been helpful for many men to visualize being in water.
You can read more about my take on it here. Women respond to proximity and touch as intensely as men respond to visual looks. Not good. First, be in close proximity to her and see how she responds. At these moments, the rapport between you is high, and touch takes it to a new level. You can easily move to flirtatious touch by lingering for a moment. Also, if you want more support along these lines, learn how we can guide you here.
Discover what makes you naturally attractive in this page ebook PDF, for free. All rights reserved. Hi there! Before you go, would you like my ebook? It has some of my best material on finding your edge and building your confidence.
Skip to content. How To Date Intelligent Women. By Sarah Jones. Have you ever wondered how to date intelligent women? I started trying to actively date this past year and your advice does help… One question that I have is if you could write a blog post about dating intelligent women? Do you have any advice for finding and dating these rare jewels? Great question and well-written. Step 1: Find Intelligent Women Great news: You already have an edge when it comes to attracting and dating women who are intelligent.
I found this zeal for learning an attractive quality. It also made for intriguing conversation. If you enjoy learning new things, you can meet more women through that. Another way to find intelligent women is through friends. Each man has a variation on what about intelligence is important to him, for example, street smarts quirky intelligence gracious and empathetic wisdom cultural openness and curiosity … and more. So much variety! There are many exciting variations on intelligence. Step 2: Appeal to Her Intellect Smart women are refreshing.
So, perfect. Rather, you can bond with a woman through intellect. Let it where it wants to go. At the same time, if you naturally feel like moving to a lighter topic, feel free. Step 3: Have a Strong and Open Stance. The Takeaway for Dating Intelligent Women: Follow these four steps on how to date intelligent women with ease: Find a smart woman.
Appeal to her intellect. Have a strong and open stance. Here are more resources on the topics discussed: Find your best spots for meeting women here. Build your conversation skills here. Learn how to approach women in a way that feel natural here.
Sarah Jones. Pick up your free copy of Sarah's page ebook inside the blue box just below. Find Your Own Unique Vibe. Get Your Ebook. Recent Articles. A girl that can knockout the Friday NYT crossword? Smart women are great No problem. Smarter, more educated, and more financially well off? It's a problem. I have to feel like I'm bringing something to the table besides good looks.
If you're just a walking encyclopedia of random Wikipedia facts and you think you're smarter than me for it, then I'll pass. How smart you are or aren't is less important than sharing similar interests. A lot of people have different interests though. She's not a jerk about either, so we're good. Nothing is worse than having a conversation with your girl and she says something you know for a fact is false but you don't want to hurt her feeling so you just kind of agree.
Depending on the situation I would still call her out as being blatantly wrong though. She's a teacher and has a Master's degree. I think I'm wiser than she is, though. I've had a lot more varied life experiences and have had more to struggle against than she did. She's got the school smarts and I have the street smarts. It works well for us. I'm not threatened by a woman being 'smarter' than I am.
In fact, I prefer it, because I always want to be in a position where I can learn something from the people closest to me. But for FWB relationships, intelligence or lack thereof is a complete non-factor. I care mostly about physical assets in that case. Had the whole face resting on one hand, other hand playing with her food. Thought it was so sexy. I asked her out the next day but she wasn't interested. Some of these questions were crazy hard that covered chemistry, history, astrology, movies, social culture and animals.
Otherwise, there's no upper limit for brains in a partner. Also, as I get older I realize that there are different types of intelligence. Just makes for a significant other that is uncompromising and tedious. She barely knows how to use a hammer or have got barely any history knowledge.
So yeah, I am not intimidated at all.
I pointed it out and said it looked interesting. We had an exciting conversation about recent leaps in science, cosmology, and more. When you immerse yourself in a class as he did, you are not only likely to meet attractive and intelligent women in the class itself…. The great thing about meeting women through friends is they are likely to be harmonious with your particular style and angle on intelligence.
At Introverted Alpha, when we are first getting to know a new client and listening to what he is looking for in a woman, we find that every man has his own definition of intelligence. Immersing yourself in classes, events, and friendships that naturally pique your intellectual interest is a great way to meet more intelligent women that suit you nicely, while becoming a better man yourself. For more of our favorite venues for introverted men to meet quality women, check out this post.
You can use these hand-in-hand with each other for maximum success and fun. Onto Step 2. Smart women are refreshing. This is a win-win because using tricks goes against your very nature! More on that here. As you carry on an interesting and thoughtful conversation together, focus on appreciating her style of intelligence as it reflects her way of seeing the world. In learning how to date intelligent women, understand that this kind of stimulation is especially important.
Enjoy how it feels to connect as human beings, and allow the conversation to open up new avenues to explore. No need to be rigid one way or the other, and certainly no need to push yourself to be witty or clever. Stay tuned into the feel of the conversation and the environment around you is it getting cold outside, has her drink run dry, are you both comfortable. Keep things flowing by staying engaged and flexible.
We break down the skill of engaging conversation in our in-depth guide here. The other day, one of our lovely IA Coaches was helping a client with his online dating profile pictures. You can discover much more about this here. There was one photo in particular that could have been okay, but he was holding his hands limply and awkwardly in front of him.
He sent it back to her after having cropped it to where his hands were no longer visible. We felt like we were looking at a whole new photo. It was quite attractive! Keep your hands either strongly folded, open and relaxed, holding something like a drink , or in your pockets so much better than fidgeting. Another way you can maintain an open and strong body stance is by moving slowly and deliberately, as if through water.
A past mentor of mine taught me this back when I was first getting started coaching different types of men, helping them find their own version of success in the dating scene. It has been helpful for many men to visualize being in water. You can read more about my take on it here.
Women respond to proximity and touch as intensely as men respond to visual looks. Not good. First, be in close proximity to her and see how she responds. At these moments, the rapport between you is high, and touch takes it to a new level. You can easily move to flirtatious touch by lingering for a moment. Also, if you want more support along these lines, learn how we can guide you here. Discover what makes you naturally attractive in this page ebook PDF, for free. All rights reserved.
Hi there! Before you go, would you like my ebook? It has some of my best material on finding your edge and building your confidence. Skip to content. How To Date Intelligent Women. By Sarah Jones. Have you ever wondered how to date intelligent women? I started trying to actively date this past year and your advice does help… One question that I have is if you could write a blog post about dating intelligent women?
Do you have any advice for finding and dating these rare jewels? She could write an entire dissertation on how she plans to keep the relationship thriving. The smart girl knows that going halfway in on a relationship is a waste of time and energy. The smart girl knows that making a relationship work means committing to continuous growth alongside each other.
And so she will never stop vying to discover more about you — what motivates you, what scares you, what intrigues you and what grows you. She wants to know you inside out and backwards, so that she can do everything within her power to support you in the best possible way as you change and grow throughout the relationship.
And the two of you can support and believe in one another as you move toward those great aspirations. She will never stop trying to put a smile on your face and encouragement in your heart — she believes in you fiercely and loves you unconditionally. She considers it her personal goal to make you as happy as she possibly can, for as long as the two of you are together. The smart, big-hearted girl needs a lot of time to herself — her thoughts can be all consuming and she needs a great deal of alone time to process them.
One who is ready to put just as much work into the relationship as she undoubtedly will. Once she chooses you to spend her life with, she will let you into every part of her heart and devote the whole of it to making you happy.
She may be cautious. She may be slow to warm up to you. She may not give herself over to you as easily as other girls will — but once you have her, she will love you like no one else ever will. And the smart, big-hearted man knows that a woman like her is worth the wait. These words are for us all. Beyond Worthy , by Jacqueline Whitney. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.
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