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Be interested in our lives and what we do, but not over the top, which can come off as too eager. OK, I know that we're in the 21st century here, and I am absolutely an advocate for equality, but I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead. One thing my husband always does is hold the car door open for me. He did this when we were first dating and still keeps the tradition alive today.
It's such a small and simple act, but chivalry is a huge turn on. This made him stand out to me in the beginning. So, open the door, buy us a flowers, woo us over a little! This plays on the last tip. I know some women might argue with me over this, and don't get me wrong, I'm fine with chipping in when out on a date.
But if you've asked a girl out and it's your first date, be gentlemanly and offer to pay. It can go a long way! I've dated men in the past who wanted to get more serious, but I always remembered if they hadn't offered to pay on our first date.
Plus, there are tons of great date ideas that cost little to no money at all. If you're just not that into us, OK, but please don't suddenly get "too busy. Sometimes, you're just not that into us. And vice-versa. And that's OK. But please don't play games. Even though it's scary, the most masculine and respectful thing you can possibly do is to be honest with us. I have girlfriends who keep making excuses for a guy who is blowing them off because he is suddenly "really busy.
But we both know better. We make time in our lives for something that is a priority. Just be straight up if you don't want to see us anymore. Nothing drives women crazier than dating a guy who is a total flake. And believe me, I've dated a few of them. Women love a man who can make a plan and stick to it. If you have commitment-phobia about making plans ahead of time or sticking to something, then we're going to question if you can make a commitment to us at all. Of course, things can come up, but show us that you have follow-through.
Please don't mistake this as taking the fun and spontaneity out of dating, because that's what it's all about. Girls are attracted to a man who can show some leadership. It's sexy. Personally, I love when a man takes the lead, especially during the dating phase. Whether that's setting up the date and picking a place for dinner, surprising us with flowers or leaning in for that first kiss, show us you're someone with a little initiative.
I'm not saying that you have to get all dressed up, in fact, sometimes that shows you're trying a little "too" hard. Plus, a lot of women like a guy who can both dress well but also can be a bit rugged. That's just preference. But if you're going to take a girl out, especially if it's someone you're really into, put a little effort into your appearance. We like that and it can go a long way! Every girl, and guy for that matter, probably has a story about dating someone who only calls or texts them to "hang out" in the middle of the night.
If you could potentially see the relationship going somewhere down the road, than this tip is simple. If it's the beginning phase of a relationship and you're out late with your friends, you're better off going home to bed than calling us at 2 a. Hold off to set up a proper date at a proper time.
I sincerely apologize if it seems like I'm being too harsh on the men out there! That is not the intention, so this last tip is a little more positive than the rest. I understand that men have a tough time in the dating scene, too. If you are already there, then move on to the next step. Let it be known. Just like you have that friend, that knows a girl that has a neighbor who is cousins with James Franco — the same thing applies.
You might know somebody that knows somebody who could be your somebody! Find your inner Julie Andrews and sing it loud and proud. If you want to meet a person who has similar interests, go to your places of interest. If you like music, go to your local record store or get tickets for a nearby show. Who knows, maybe your future love is waiting for you at your nearby Trader Joe's? And yes, my place of interest is a grocery store. If you are doing the approaching, ask yourself: are you being genuine, or does your conversation starter sound contrived?
Whenever I go shopping and I am only thinking of a specific outfit to buy, nothing else I see will please me. This is similar to dating. When you are too strict about what you are looking for, you run the risk of letting great people go. If you follow a structured life, have your routine down and stick to it every day, where is there any room for another person?
If you are the kind of person that goes from A to B without even looking up, you might be missing a potential mate right in front of you. So say yes to a night out with your friends, or explore your city by yourself one day. If your dating comfort zone resembles whipped cream by the spoonful while binge-watching New Girl on a Friday night which, by the way, I think sounds absolutely glorious , then you might want to step out a little more.
Hey, there's no judgement about said previous act, but I doubt you will find your perfect match through the TV screen.
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