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Was compatibility something that could be learned? Would permanence simply happen, or would he have to choose it? Around this time, he signed up for two online dating sites: Match. All of a sudden I was going out with one or two very pretty, ambitious women a week. At first I just thought it was some kind of weird lucky streak. After six weeks, Jacob met a year-old named Rachel, whose youth and good looks he says reinvigorated him. His friends were jealous.
Was this The One? They dated for a few months, and then she moved in. Both names have been changed for anonymity. But there were other issues. She was from a blue-collar military background; he came from doctors. Jacob also felt pressure from his parents, who were getting anxious to see him paired off for good. His relationships tended to drag on. But something was different this time. After two years, when Rachel informed Jacob that she was moving out, he logged on to Match.
His old profile was still up. It was sleeker, faster, more efficient. And the population of online daters in Portland seemed to have tripled. Did online dating change my perception of permanence? No doubt. When I sensed the breakup coming, I was okay with it. I was eager to see what else was out there. The positive aspects of online dating are clear: the Internet makes it easier for single people to meet other single people with whom they might be compatible, raising the bar for what they consider a good relationship.
But what if online dating makes it too easy to meet someone new? What if it raises the bar for a good relationship too high? What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track?
Of course, no one knows exactly how many partnerships are undermined by the allure of the Internet dating pool. But most of the online-dating-company executives I interviewed while writing my new book, Love in the Time of Algorithms , agreed with what research appears to suggest: the rise of online dating will mean an overall decrease in commitment. You know what to do with women, how to treat them and talk to them.
Add to that the effect of online dating. Another online-dating exec hypothesized an inverse correlation between commitment and the efficiency of technology. The goal has always been to make it faster. The same thing will happen with meeting. You network for a job.
You find a flatmate. People always said that the need for stability would keep commitment alive. But today, more people have had failed relationships, recovered, moved on, and found happiness. They realize that that happiness, in many ways, depends on having had the failures. As we become more secure and confident in our ability to find someone else, usually someone better, monogamy and the old thinking about commitment will be challenged very harshly.
Indeed, the profit models of many online-dating sites are at cross-purposes with clients who are trying to develop long-term commitments. A permanently paired-off dater, after all, means a lost revenue stream. Our pickiness will probably increase. Alex Mehr, a co-founder of the dating site Zoosk, is the only executive I interviewed who disagrees with the prevailing view. It only changes the process of discovery. Surely personality will play a role in the way anyone behaves in the realm of online dating, particularly when it comes to commitment and promiscuity.
Gender, too, may play a role. At the same time, however, the reality that having too many options makes us less content with whatever option we choose is a well-documented phenomenon. Psychologists who study relationships say that three ingredients generally determine the strength of commitment: overall satisfaction with the relationship; the investment one has put into it time and effort, shared experiences and emotions, etc. In between Pauly's many flings, he did occasionally have a girlfriend.
For instance, longtime viewers of Jersey Shore remember in the first season when Pauly had a clingy girlfriend named Danielle. The short-lived romance brought out the worst in Pauly. In fact, it was one of the only times fans saw Pauly truly get mad.
Over the years, he also had a few flirty flings with some of his fellow roommates. For example, Pauly and JWoww got flirty in one of the first episodes before rekindling this flirty behavior on the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation spin-off.
Shortly after the original show ended, Pauly revealed he had a daughter with Amanda Markert. The two were never actually a couple despite welcoming their daughter together in His most public fling before diving deep into his relationship with Nikki Hall was with Aubrey O'Day. The pair started on Famously Single together before they began dating in November The on-again-off-again relationship lasted for nearly three years before the couple called it quits for good in Just one year later, he and best friend Vinny Guadagnino teamed up to find love together on the dating series Double Shot At Love.
Throughout the two seasons of the show, Pauly became quite close with Nikki. However, in the first season, his relationship with Derynn Paige was quite strong as well. Pauly D and Nikki later rekindled their love before quarantining together in Pauly's home in Las Vegas. All things considered, Pauly has come a long way since his early days on Jersey Shore.
He went from a big partier to a touring professional DJ. Now, he's even in a committed relationship.
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